The Sin of Lust I

If you’re reading this, you’re probably human. And as such, dear readers, you’ve probably felt what is known as The Sin of Lust, which as far as I can tell is one person’s sexual attraction to another. An alarming idea has been creeping upon me during my exploration of Sin, readers.

I commit most of them on a daily basis. And I’m fairly certain that most of my associates do as well. Which leads me to another frightening conclusion: according to my estimation, humans are fairly thinly dispersed in heaven.

In any case, the specific issue du jour is lust. Everyone’s attracted to something, and as the great Stephen Fry so progressively states in his autobiography Moab is My Washpot, “none of the following is shameful or deserves apology, in spite of our suicidal attempts to convince ourselves otherwise:

-To possess a rectum, a urethra, and a bladder, and all that pertain thereto.

-To cry.

-To find anything or anyone of any gender, age, or species sexually attractive.”

Fry and I are in no way advocating bestiality or pedophilia, but merely acknowledging that people’s loins are stirred by a variety of stimuli. Some people like men, some people like women, some people like fatties, and some people like skinny bitches. That said, I have now lead you to the point I’m actually trying, meanderingly, to make.

There’s a lot of what the Anthropology Community calls “hatorade” in our society hurled at skinny bitches. “I hate skinny bitches,” say some normal-sized girls. “Just because they starve themselves, why should they get boyfriends?”

Two things about skinny bitches: they don’t starve themselves, and they don’t have boyfriends. I know skinny bitches, readers, and they stuff their mouths along with the rest of us.

We love croissants equally!

Some people’s metabolisms allow them to look like magazine ads. Those same lucky people also get asked if they suffer from eating disorders or dysmorphia. They get told that they need to eat more. They get told they look like crack-addicts. And they also overhear comments like, “Why would a guy want that anyway, she looks like a twelve year old boy.”

Everyone knows that bony was not always the in thing to be; wideness, corpulence, and expressed fertility were valued up until very recently. Skinny girls are not inherently vain, evil, selfish, or insecure. They are just skinny.

In exactly the same way, men who like skinny girls are not pigs who expect women to stick their fingers down their throats to match the Victoria’s Secret ads. They are just men with penises that tell them to look for women with slighter frames.

And conversely, men who like bigger girls are not the progressive-minded saviors of feminism that they want everyone to think they are, they are just men with penises that tell them to find fuller-figured girls.

I’m gay. Does that make me a super-liberal revolutionary who refuses to view women as objects of sexual desire? Am I the Hero of all women who want to be viewed as independent creatures of personal accomplishment? Nope. Just gay. Just a man whose penis tells him to look for men with penises.

Don’t judge people based on what their stomachs and genitals crave. It doesn’t make any God damn sense.